Knowing your own yes, and meaning your own no.
For men who are agreeable in the moment and resentful by Thursday. Closeness is not a personality trait: it is a set of skills, and these are the ones most men were never taught.
It is rarely dramatic. It is a hundred small unsaid things.
Men who struggle here are usually described by others as easy to get along with. The cost is private and it accumulates.
Four skills, in the order they tend to be buildable.
These are practiced, not discussed. Open each one to see what that looks like.
Knowing your own state before you speak
Many men only notice a feeling when it has already become anger or silence. Assertiveness starts earlier than that.
Naming a want without apologizing for it
A request that arrives wrapped in three qualifiers is not a request. It is a way of making the other person responsible for guessing.
Holding a limit without going cold
Most men have two settings: give in, or withdraw. A boundary held warmly is a third option and it has to be built.
Staying in the conversation, and repairing
The measure is not whether you got it right. It is whether you can stay present afterward and ask for repair when you did not.
One situation at a time.
We do not work from a curriculum. We work from your week, which is why the practice transfers.
First
Find the missing sentence
We take one real situation from your week and locate the thing you did not say. Not to scold you for it: to see what you were protecting and from what.
Assertiveness and sexuality are connected.
A man who cannot say what he wants out loud often finds a private way to get it. That is not a moral failing; it is what happens when the direct route was never available.
So this work is not a side topic. For many clients it is the practical half of the whole thing: the shame comes down, and at the same time the ordinary ability to ask for something goes up.
The group is where a lot of this gets rehearsed with men other than me.
What men usually want to know about this part.
Frequently Asked Questions
Bring one conversation you have been avoiding
That is enough to start with on a free fifteen-minute call. I will tell you honestly whether I think I can help.