You are not going to be talked down to in here.
Most of the men I see have never been to therapy and expected to be judged. This page is what I would tell you in the first five minutes, so you can decide with actual information rather than a guess.
You have probably been deciding whether to do this for a couple of years.
Men rarely call me the week something starts. They call after a long stretch of handling it, quitting, managing, promising, getting a grip on it for four months and then not. By the time a man is reading this page he is usually tired in a way that has nothing to do with sleep.
What I do is work with men on compulsive sexual behavior, secrecy, shame, assertiveness and the actual mechanics of being close to someone. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, which means I have specific training in this, not a general practice that will take it on.
What I do not do is treat your sexuality as a problem to be shut down. The aim of this work is not a smaller, more tightly controlled life. It is a sexuality and a relationship you can hold in the open, without a hidden compartment running alongside them.
That applies to gay and bisexual men as much as to straight men, and a substantial part of this practice is LGBTQ+ men. You will not spend the first month explaining your relationships to me, being asked to translate them into somebody else’s arrangement, or wondering whether your sexuality is quietly being treated as the thing that needs fixing. It is not.
Sessions are in person in Long Beach or by telehealth anywhere in California. Se habla español.
Open whichever line lands. None of them has to describe you exactly.
Five things I will hold to, from the first hour.
From the phone call to the part where it gets real.
No timelines are promised here and no outcome is guaranteed. This is simply the shape the first stretch usually takes.
The call
Fifteen minutes, free, no forms
You describe roughly what is going on (badly is fine, most men do) and I tell you honestly whether I am the right person. If I am not, I will say so. Nobody asks for a diagnosis, an insurance ID or your date of birth on this call.
The things men ask on the consultation call, in roughly the order they ask them.
Frequently Asked Questions
Therapy for men, written for where you are
Who tends to walk in from here, and what he is usually carrying when he does.
Fifteen minutes, and you can hang up unconvinced
A free 15-minute phone consultation. No intake paperwork, no clinical record, and no obligation to book anything afterward.