A younger set of questions about porn, sex and what closeness is supposed to feel like.
Costa Mesa is thirty-five to fifty minutes from the office, and mostly a telehealth city. It also sends me more men in their twenties and thirties than almost anywhere else on this list.
Men who never had a baseline to compare this to.
A large share of the men who contact me from this part of the county are under forty. The pattern started young, before there was an adult sexuality to measure it against, and the question they arrive with is not "how do I stop" so much as "what was I supposed to have instead."
That is a better question, and it is the one this practice is built around. Removing a behavior without building anything in its place tends not to hold.
Nothing here treats your sexuality as the problem to be eliminated. It treats secrecy, compulsion and shame as the problems, which is a different project.
Four things men in their twenties and thirties say first.
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Costa Mesa Questions
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